It is so hard to believe that I’ve been a mom now for 1 whole year! Our baby boy (who’s more big boy than baby now) turned one this past week, the 2nd of November. “Where does time go?”, was a term that I used to think people overused when they didn’t know how to make real conversation. But now, I realize that it really is overused because, for the love of Father Time, IT’S TRUE! Where does time go? One minute I was peeing on a stick, and then the next I’m trying to keep my 1 year old out of electrical outlets, and the bookcase, and the computer chords, and all my office stuff– “Drop the stapler, Harrison!” It’s almost scary how fast time flies…
But, I can say this, this year has been so fun, so grand, so amazing! It has taught me more about life, love, God, and MYSELF than I ever thought was possible. It’s showed me that when you think you’re heart is so full it will explode, it can actually grow to house MORE love. It’s also showed me that when you think, “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I just want to sit down for five minutes, why is he whining, do I really want to do this again, etc…” That one giggle, one smile, one sweet pat, and kiss, can make you melt into the biggest pile of mommy mush and instantaneously you don’t how tired you are, or how much you need a shower, or how 2 minutes ago you considered running away, no. All you know and feel is crazy, radical, ridiculous love, and your heart just grew a little bit bigger.
It showed me that I would really lay down my life for my children. That there is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for them. That if you cross them wrong, you will most likely see a side of me even I’ve never seen. That you will give up on a “rule” you “should” follow from that baby book, or do that “thing” that could possibly create a “bad habit” down the line for the sake of finding balance and learning that while some of those are great guides and everyone has to find what works for them and their family, every baby is different and you must learn said baby in order to find your middle ground between all that black and white.
Motherhood after 1 year showed me some things I will do differently with the next baby and some things that I won’t. And speaking of babies, it showed me that even though I thought I wouldn’t want to share my love with more children for quite some time, that I actually can’t wait to give more love to more little Dermott humans-like soon. My husband is telling me to get control of my ovaries for a little while longer, but I’m just being real…when can I do this again?!?!
It showed me about true selflessness and that it’s actually a joy to serve someone other than myself. That to give of myself humbly to raise a generation of beautiful souls that love the Lord fiercely, and love others with that same passion, is one of (and will always be) the biggest, best, dream of my heart.
It is continuing to show me about patience………
Wow! This one. To not just react but to really think through how my action and my response back to something might affect him and which way would I want it to affect him. Do I want it to be more positive or more negative? Do I want him to walk away feeling respected, honored, and loved? Or do I want him to feel wounded, hurt, and alone? Patience in realizing that they are learning things that come second nature to me, but that I was once at that stage. Patience to just let him make a mess because he is learning–as long as it’s not plugged in, sharp, or glass…why not?
Patience to be patient when he isn’t patient with me…got to practice what I preach. 🙂
And a big one that was huge for me: Remember that he is a little human. I know that may sound totally weird, but I think often times we treat them as little machines-get them on this schedule and that, don’t do this, don’t do that, they need this and they need that or….blah blah blah. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe God gave children parents to help guide them and lead them and train them up; and I did implement consistency and routine and guidance. Always will. But, what I’m saying here is that when I would remember that he was just a miniature version of myself (that being a human being), it caused me to really step back and look at things from a different perspective. It helped me find balance. For one example, instead of just going, “Oh my gosh, he’s just screaming!”, it helped me take account that we had been in a very noisy, busy restaurant for awhile and he’d been up awhile, so how would I feel? How do I feel sometimes after a long day full of tons of activities, noise and people? Tired! That’s how! So it helped me try to understand him as a true person and really helped me relate to him.
It showed me that God sure knew what he was doing giving me a little boy named Harrison Thomas. He is my little buddy! He’s my laid back, joyFULL, big blue eyed, independent-yet snuggly, busy, full of personality, full of Grace, lover of books, and music, and worship, and blueberries, and sweet potatoes, rough sometimes, but gentle spirited little big boy, who’s cheeks are enough to make me go crazy they are so squishy; along with the most adorable birth mark on his left pinky finger. Seriously, how can someone be so cute?
He is our total textbook baby…he has hit every milestone right on the dot. He isn’t walking yet, but any day now.
Being a mom has opened up so many new realms of possibilities, and truth, and light that it could be a 4 part blog series. But, I would venture to say that any mom reading this doesn’t need me to write it out because–they already know.
Harrison did so much fun stuff in his first year of life-aside from the milestones-like:
-Had major lip tie fixed via laser surgery at 2 weeks old. (ok that’s not technically fun but it was over in a flash, healed quick, and everyone was better off for it)
-Had a lot of pool days over the summer
-Went on a roadtrip to Florida and played on a beach and in the ocean
-Got to meet his GREAT Grammy and Papa
-Got to see his daddy coach his first football game and win
-Had a whole “guys” weekend with dad while mommy went away.
-Got to turn forward facing in his big boy seat (that’s a really big deal!)
Here are a few pictures of our munchkin from his 1 year photo shoot. Shout out to my sister for being…AMAZING!
Also here is a video slideshow I put together for his first birthday showing him from birth to now!