My Real. Raw. Moment.

📢WARNING: Real. Raw. Moment ahead!
I’m learning so much about being a new mom, especially when it comes to my body. I am someone who thrives on the “next level”. I’m strong. I push myself to be stronger. I compete with myself and believe you can do anything you set your mind to and I believe in consistency. Pre-baby I had to learn (not without a few “learn it the hard way” scenarios) that rest was a good and healthy thing. That my body couldn’t run on level 10 24/7 without eventual injury or plateau. When I got pregnant, I had to learn a new version of myself–being pregnant. Ha I had to learn to modify. Taking all the tools I learned pre baby and through pregnancy allowed me to stay strong: push your limits, rest, listen to your body. And I believe that’s why I was able to run strong up to my 37th week and continue strength training, cardio, and yoga up to the day I delivered; also why my body bounced back within days of having my son. HOWEVER………!

I’m am now learning my NEW body. My post baby body. Your body really goes through a phenomenon when you have a baby. If you step back for a minute and really realize what happens, it truly is a miracle the way we were designed and what God created our body to withstand without breaking and the inevitable feeling in the moment of, “This might kill me!” Truly, we were created miraculously! The thing is, your body changes whether you get back in pre-pregnancy clothes or you don’t (hips didn’t get the memo that they could stop spreading and go back now). Here’s my real raw moment: I sometimes struggle with the fundamentals. You know the basics. In my head, I know they are super important and I would never recommend skipping them. But, they piss me off sometimes. Especially when you’re someone that knows you’re strong and is confident and gets a high off of pushing yourself. I can honestly say I’m proud of myself because I know I’m not just one of the “blessed” ones. A deeper confidence comes with knowing that your body responded and bounced back immensely because of the hard work YOU put into it. My core stayed very strong through pregnancy and after, which attributed to the downfall I’m about to tell you about. Because of that fact, I am having to learn that no matter how well I feel or how much I am able to do endurance and strength wise–I STILL HAD A BABY! I need to learn this new body, embrace it, love it, and do the damn fundamentals. The fundamentals are like the gym instructor you cuss out and call a nazi, but the next day you look at your abs and immediately want to kiss the ground she walks on. They make you stronger! Sunday I worked out with my sister and didn’t do anything crazy. Just ran for about 20 minutes and did a 30 min core/strength class. However, I must have strained just enough that my post baby body (you know the one I’m learning?) got hurt. Slightly. In an area I would rather not share. Nothing major. Nothing requiring a physician but definitely requiring rest. I didn’t notice, however, until later that evening and it wasn’t enough to where I thought I should “take a day off”. Really, I’m not stupid friends. Remember, I’ve grown? If I thought it warranted rest, I would’ve rested. But, I felt great in the morning so I chalked it up to just sore muscle and went for run with the baby on Monday. Sad to say, it for sure, now warranted rest. My husband grounded me for a day from working out and after researching my “dilemma” realized I will need to take it easy and let it heal. So looks like walking and yoga for a couple days. This is where I say over and over through slightly gritted teeth, “Rest is good. Rest is good.”

My point in this story is that I am learning so much about this part of my life. How to be a new mom, how to learn my baby, how be a wife AND mom, and I’m learning my new body. It really is a new body. It will never be what it was before. That doesn’t mean it can’t be just as good, if not better, but it does need to be loved, appreciated, cared for and it deserves the best. Today I’m embracing the word “Heal.” I’m embracing my new body. I’m embracing change. I’m embracing growth and maturity. I’m embracing being teachable and learning something valuable everyday.

Let yourself grow. It’s hard at times. But it’s so worth it. Why? Because you growing up is good-duh! But really, it means that you have the ability to lead. And not only are you a leader but you can now lead because you’ve been shown trustworthy to be an apprentice. You were, and will remain, teachable in every circumstance. You can follow, you are faithful, you are loyal, and most importantly- you are vulnerable. You made mistakes and learned from them. Don’t try to be perfect because you aren’t. Sorry! ***REALITY CHECK*** Trying to be perfect doesn’t make you that way. It makes you fake. And not only is fake gross to others, worst of all, it brings shame; shame because when you inevitably screw up, you turn to self-hatred. That’s not the way any of us are destined to go. No! We are destined for greatness and confidence and to know our worth!
So whether you turned a blind eye when you knew you shouldn’t, or like me in this situation, you didn’t know but are still just learning and learning to be ok with it- go ahead and let go. Let yourself heal. Let yourself be yourself and no one else!

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3 thoughts on “My Real. Raw. Moment.

  1. This is a great post. We are always hardest on ourselves, when we shouldn’t be. After giving birth to my son I was so worried about losing the weight and I dieted and exercised so much I think it hurt my milk production. I ended up weighing less than I did pre-pregnancy. After giving birth to my twins, my normally tiny body a wreck, but you know what I wouldn’t change it for anything. My belly was the home to the things I most love in my life, my babies. And ironically, this time I knew I would lose the weight eventually so I didn’t stress about it, and I actually lost it at the SAME rate! Just eat healthy and live an active lifestyle and the rest will fall in line. Best of luck to you.

  2. Oh girl! I love this!!! I feel the same way. I’m so much more appreciative of my body after having my daughter. It still amazes me that I pushed her out! Ha And I hope you feel better after straining yourself. Xo

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